The Forgotten Art of Listening

Lately, I’ve been doing some little research about the tendency of people to communicate with others.

The result is simply amazing. Most people wants to talk, but few wants to listen.

Yes, this is very true. Many people focuses on how to speak to others and how to convey their messages, trying to get some attentions. Unfortunately, they won’t even share their ears to what others say. 

We seem to want to hear ourselves just to confirm and validate our existence.

Are you listening?

Well, this is quite a problem since communication is REALLY a two-way process. It is an activity, not a one-time event. The listener’s role is as the central in the communication process just as the speaker’s role. 

Many communication failures, hurt feelings and misunderstandings result from the inability to listen properly. Our relationships and dealings with other people will become much more fruitful and fulfilling if we study and learn the art of listening. Believe me

After surfing for a while on the internet, I found several things to bear in mind in order to become a good listener. Here it is :

1. Develop the desire to listen

This is the very basic art of listening. The fake listener doesn’t fool anyone. Poor eye contact, shuffling feet, busy hands, and meaningless replies, like “That’s interesting” and “Is that right?” give them away.

Dump your ego. Leave it outside the door. Look at your partner and focus on what is being said. Ask yourself what can be learned and how can both of you benefit from this conversation.

2. Really listen to what is said, rather than just hearing it.

There is a great difference between hearing and listening. In hearing, the information goes in one ear and often comes out the other. In listening, we allow the words to sink in deeper into our minds. 

Rather than thinking on what you’re going to say next, try to think of what is being said from the standpoint of the communicator. Listening therefore demands concentration and undivided attention.

3. Be understanding and Do not judge too early

Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.  Even at work, where performance takes priority over relationships, listening carefully to understand the other person’s point of view, before you even think about replying, is the key to productive communication.

Try to keep an open mind towards what is being said and keep personal judgements to yourself. Acceptance and tolerance of others’ opinions will help the other person feel comfortable and relaxed and give him the chance to speak his mind freely, without being afraid of what you will think of him.

4. Give appropriate response

I’ve stated that communication is a two-way process, right? Well, it is really is. By giving a response is a proof that you’re listening to what’ve been said.

Give a positive response, ask for clarification to clear up any misunderstanding you have. Do this and I’ll guarantee that you’ll have nice conversations. :p

 

 I know it’s long, I know it’s hard, but it’s worth a try

 

And if you fail to remember all of this or having a hard time to listen to others, simply remember this words:

 

Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.

Epictetus – an ancient Greek philosopher

 

In that case, I think the main reason why our nation is very stagnant is maybe because most people here have two mouths and one ear.

Maybe, just maybe.

It’s time to listen to others. It’s time to appreciate others.

Happy Listening

 

 

 

References:

http://www.brodow.com/Articles/ArtOfListening.html

http://traubman.igc.org/listenof.htm